Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ode to the Times

Let me start off by saying that I love the Sunday New York Times.  But like many things that I love, our relationship entails certain obligations.  Like the obligation to at least pretend to read every single section every weekend.

This is mostly a problem when I'm away for the weekend and still have the whole pile to pick through on Sunday night or Monday morning.  By then, I'm usually done with my scholarly reading, looking forward to a week of perusing junk mail or Chinese take-out menus.

When I returned from this latest weekend away, DH asked me if I wanted to save the Times.  (Note that he asked me in a way whose undertone indicated that he'd like to clear the mess off the kitchen table and that I should move on to other things).  I surprised him by saying no, that I was bound to at least look at the Times because if I didn't I might miss something very important and no one would take me seriously anymore.

But I do triage The Times.  Here's how I do it.

Main section:  Keep and skim.  Because the obituaries are located at the end.  And I seriously hate it when someone says, "Did you hear that so and so died (famous actor, politician, Nobel Prize winner) and I have to say, "I thought he/she was already dead."
Travel:  Discard.  Because I never go anywhere where people are merry and gay and warm.  And right now that's okay by me.
Arts and Leisure:  Discard.  Because I never go out socially.  Which is NOT okay by me.
Book Review:  Keep, skim, and rip out reviews of interesting-sounding books that I will never read.
Real Estate:  A MUST READ.  Because one day I hope to "slip the surly bonds" of the suburbs.
Magazine: Keep.  Because I depend on the Ethicist to solve all my moral and ethical dilemmas.  Which seem to assault me around every corner.
Sunday Styles:  Skim.  Because sometimes there's some young and cool stuff in there (i.e., an anthropological study for someone like me).  But mostly I'm trying to wean myself away from the wedding announcements, which are rife with people who are better looking, richer, more accomplished and better educated than I am.  Did I mention that they are also much younger than me?

There's more, but I've got to get cracking.  The Sports section is burning a hole in my pocket.

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