My mother came to stay with us on Sunday to keep an eye on Thing 2 while DH and I attended a wedding. After she settled herself in, I went upstairs to get dressed and made-up, applying lipstick, blush, mascara and all other manner of hope.
When I came downstairs some three hours later, Mom looked up at me from the kitchen table where she was relaxing, peered into my face and asked, "Why don't you put on some make-up?"
Oh...hi there Mom. Didja sleep okay?
My mother is my
only biggest fan, the one who "clicks" when I'm feeling abandoned and forwards on to me all the Snopes, health and scam warnings in
her inbox when I'm feeling unloved. Each morning, she turns on her computer, checks "the" email and settles down with a cup of coffee (black with two pilfered Sweet n Lows- more on that later) and a half a bagel to read through Body of Work. I consider this the greatest of compliments -- after all, she could have been watching Hoda and Kathy Lee.
So this morning I decided to take Mom's advice and apply my make-up more liberally. This is how I greeted her:
She liked the lipstick effect, but suggested I do something with my hair. You just can't please some people....
By the way, I learned this morning that my Mom doesn't steal Sweet-in-Low from diners and highway rest-stops but
actually buys it at the market. I think my childhood is over.
Moms are the absolute BEST!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the Billy Joel song: "She's Always a Bozo To Me"
ReplyDeleteoh, Joan, this is so funny because it is So true!! do we have the same mother? were we separated at birth??
ReplyDeleteI've heard my entire life, since I was a teenager, "have you thought about a little blush? lipstick?", which is always said After I've applied makeup!! Maybe I'll try your solution and show up in clown garb for Thanksgiving!
@David -- yes, a very popular prom song. @Heidi - maybe you're Jewish too, LOL?
ReplyDeleteI always get the hair critique, no matter what. However, the day I faced the music and put my cat down,I, no surprise - cried off all my eye makeup. My mother said to me: Why do you look so terrible...oh you don't have any make up on...
ReplyDeleteMoms only want the best for you. Unfortunately, how they express it does not always come out right. My mom passed away 6 months ago. I would be happy to have one of those left-handed compliments as we head into our first Thanksgiving without her.
ReplyDeleteRob
@Rob -- I'm sorry for your loss. My mother knows this post is all in good fun - she was with me when I was composing it!
ReplyDeleteMOMS! First we reared by them, and then we actually turn in to them!! I love this post. It actually sounds like you have a nice relationship with your mom.
ReplyDeleteJoan, I love the way you write. I cracked up laughing. My mom can be the same way, but she doesn't say email yet. She just makes a typing gesture with her fingers. Sigh...moms. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Tanishiboy. I love my mom and I am a mom myself so I know it will ALL come back to me, LOL. I love the vision of your mom making typig gestures. :)
ReplyDeleteJoan, it all sounds so familiar when you write about "the" email. My mum is the computer 'geek' as my dad can't even switch on the computer (bless him!), they've just got their heads around the existence of "the" facebook, but now they think that everything on the internet is actually on facebook! I haven't dared to introduce twitter! The great thing though is my mum can operate skype, so I get to see them.....:) It makes me wonder how we will appear to our kids in the future if we don't keep up with technology! :)
ReplyDelete@Oh Snoopydog -- you KNOW how we're going to appear to our kids, lol!
ReplyDeleteFor years my mom made a point not to give her opinion unless I asked for it. I miss those days.
ReplyDelete