Thursday, January 20, 2011

Death Squad by Credit Card

Given the frequency with which I use my credit card, it's kind of unbelievable that I haven't memorized my card numbers.  I can remember the lines from my third grade play ("I am Neptune, eighth planet from the sun.  I am third biggest in size, many times bigger than the earth.  I was discovered in 1846."), but not the series of numbers that represents one of the most important relationships in my life. 

This is not a problem when I use my card anywhere I merely need to swipe it, but when I order something online, like I did with today's Living Social deal ($10 for a $20 Amazon gift card), I blank on everything but the expiration date and security code.

I believe it's a plot by our current Socialist government to force me to get up from the comfortable bed or chair where I'm sprawled doing my important web surfing (Facebook, email, Facebook, email, Facebook) and find my purse, which contains my credit card.  Typically, my purse is on another level of our home.  (No, my purse is ALWAYS on another level).  So I run upstairs (or downstairs) to fetch it and inevitably get distracted by something else (cat hairballs, an interestingly-shaped dust bunny, or my own reflection in the mirror).  By the time I've returned to the level where I started, I realize that I've forgotten my purse and have to once again run upstairs (or downstairs) to seek out my purse.  Rinse and repeat.

So that's how I get my exercise.  Which is what the White House wants me to do to stay healthy under our upcoming government-run healthcare/death squad system. It's all good.  Especially if I can take care of my co-pays online with my credit card.


  1. You know your expiration date and security code?! You're much farther ahead than I am.

  2. I stopped being able to add new numbers into my memory banks sometime in the 1980s, when I finally memorized my social security number. (Also when, probably not coincidentally, when I had children.)