Oh baby. (Oh crap).

Like many job seekers in this brave new world, I subscribe to several online "job boards."  These job boards automatically send me an email - either every morning or every week, depending on the frequency that I have specified - with a listing of newly posted jobs deemed of potential interest to me.  The selection of these job listings is based on the list of search terms I have input.  These search terms relate to my skills, experience or the title of a job I might want.

Before proceeding with this story, I want to stress that the words "placenta" and "stirrups" are not among the search terms I entered.

The email I received this morning included the following "listing that we thought would be of interest to you."

Gynecologist/Family Practice Physician

Salary: Competitive Salary; Excellent Benefits

Education: Doctorate (PhD, MD, etc.)

Location: New York, New York

Job Category: Health ; Medical

Sector: Nonprofit

Language(s): English, Spanish

We are seeking an experienced, dedicated full–time or part time gynecology clinician or Family Practice MD with strong GYN experience to join our team in providing gynecological care to a diverse patient population, including adults living with HIV as well as transgender individuals. In addition, you will participate in our newly established alternative insemination program.

For reasons I can't quite articulate, I don't think that this is an especially "fecund" opportunity for me.  While I always endeavor to promote how transferable my skills as a market researcher are to other fields, this opportunity seems like too much of a stretch for me:

Everyone knows I don't speak Spanish.