Friday, December 10, 2010

The Arc of My Year - a Derivative Post

It all started with my FB status updates, which tracked my weird, wonderful and uber-sexy life. Then it became a blog and the rest, as they say, is her-story.

Anyway, FB just rolled out an app that lets you review the past year’s status updates and collate them into a picture! So in putting mine together, I had the opportunity to reminisce about 2010.

This is what I’ve been up to this year, in a nutshell!

I wish I could take the day off from being insightful today and just stuff envelopes or something.

Was just terminated. Seriously.

My MBA has paid for itself many times over – now I’m just looking for a really good Ponzi scheme to see me through to retirement.

The cat keeps bringing me Pokemon cards, but I refuse to play with her.

I am simultaneously googling “sofa repair services” and “cost to declaw a cat.

Countdown to Martha. Rotating my lampshades and calling the fishmonger.

I can’t find my haggadim or seder plates, but I DID find a Kwaanza photo frame.

It’s Tzedakah, not Sudoku, shanah punim.

Passover is just a few weeks away and already I am looking forward to the gentle and familiar rhythm of our tradtion. Here’s an example: the annual phone call from my mother in Florida, demanding to know whether I got 5 one pound boxes of matzoh free with an additional $25 purchase at the A&P. When I tell her no, she yells at me.

Kids Say and Do the Darndest Things
First thing this morning, I cut my thumb on the blade of the Cuisinart while putting it away (not even while using it!). Thing 2 say to me, “Already?”

Sometime after we put him to bed last night, Thing 2 nipped out of his room into the bathroom and cut some designs in his hair. Apparently he didn’t break any house rules, because the only place he is allowed to go after lights out is to the bathroom. Funny how we didn’t think to establish any “no cutting designs into hair” rules when we first thought out this parenting gig.

From Channel 4 news this morning, “The shooting victim walked to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

This cracked me up: the name of Raquel Welch’s new autobiography: Raquel – Beyond the Cleavage.


  1. Favorite weird story of the year: Man was arrested for robbing taxi drivers, when he accidentally climbed into a police car thinking it was a taxi.

  2. That's a good one, Karla!

  3. These FB posts were exactly what got us all telling you to blog, Joan! And we were right . . .

  4. There's something beyond the cleavage? Who cares?