The good news about Skyline, the new movie co-directed by the Strause brothers (I had never heard of the Strause brothers, but referring to them in such a familiar fashion makes me sound like a movie aficionado, even though I haven't been to the "picture show" since ET came out in 1983) is that it is only 92 minutes.
The bad news about Skyline is that it is a full 92 excruciating minutes. And it only took about 10 of those minutes before I started thinking about how good a bullet between my eyes would feel.
I can't remember what possessed me to agree to take Thing 2 to the movies on a Friday night. I suspect it was a bribe for his agreeing (actually, "agreeing" might be a bit of a misnomer, particularly where handcuffs and a straight jacket are concerned) to go to Shabbat family services with me. His spending a full 40 minutes in the torturous embrace of his friends, singing, eating brownies and black and whites requires serious recompense.
Basically - and I'm stealing this description from an online movie review: "In the sci-fi thriller 'Skyline', strange lights descend on the city of Los Angeles, drawing people outside like moths to a flame where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth." The inside shots take place in a fantastic penthouse apartment. Outside, there are explosions, metallic aliens, slime, apocalypes and other otherworldly stuff.
And through it all I couldn't take my eyes off the penthouse's Subzero refrigerator, granite countertops, ceramic mosaic backsplash with diffused background lighting, beverage center, wine storage, warming drawer and a Wolf six burner cooktop, automatic shades/blinds which ascend and descend with the flick of a button and 270 degree views of the LA skyline.
I won't reveal the ending to those of you who may want to see Skyline so I am posting a SPOILER ALERT. Don't scroll down if you don't want to know the ending. But it IS tragic- I wept buckets.
The Subzero fridge gets wrecked.
Say it aint so! The subzero gets sub tracted!!!Oh what a world..whataworld.....
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