WINNING! - An Interview with Charlie Sheen

I was thrilled when Charlie Sheen of Two and a Half Vials of Tiger Blood responded to my recent request for an interview.  (Of course, he didn't respond with any words that I can print on this family site, but at least I got a response).

Charlie and I met via Skype between his stops in Detroit and Chicago during his Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option tour.  I found him to be tall, dark-haired and male...even when I asked the difficult questions.

How has your life changed since you went ballistic, embarrassed your family, alienated your fan and bought a new bowling shirt?

It has been amazing.  I'm in it for the strike, got a spare, and rolling down the alley.  Going for commerce, dude.  Yeah.

Do you think that your recent problems have any connection to the fact that your given middle name is Irwin?


No.  Do you think your recent problems have any connection to the fact that you're a Barry Manilow fan?

Um, we were talking about you, Chuck.  You know, Adonis DNA and the fact that your life is so much more bitchin' than mine?


You got that straight, duh???


On a personal note, if I may, where do you find your goddesses?   

Why?  Are you interested in applying?

(Me:  Thinking Skype connection must be a little bit fuzzy) Uh, no thanks Charlie.   Now, in doing research for this interview, I learned that  in 1990 you "accidentally" shot your then fiancee, Kelly Preston, in the arm and that she broke off the engagement soon after.  Comments?


It was an accident.  I swear, I was trying to cut off her head and the gun just ...went... off.
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So, what's next?  Do your think you'll ever go back to Two and a Half Men?


NO WAY!  Okay, maybe. If they put a sign on my dressing room door that says "Warlock."

FAQs - Part Deux

Six months have passed since I started this blog, and I know that my fans, reader mother has been wondering how my new venture is going (since she's given up on the idea of my ever wearing lipstick).   So I thought I'd publish some more answers to your FAQs.  It's FAQs- Part Deux!  There may even be a Part Trois in the future-- it's up to you - send me your most pressing questions.  (In the meantime, here's part 1!  FAQs - the Original

So, do you enjoy writing Body of Work?

• Indeed I do!  I love the discipline, the creativity and how writing enables me to avoid my real responsibilities, like vacuuming up cat hair, burning dinner and ruining my children's lives.

Has writing a blog opened up any new opportunities?

• I'm so glad you asked.  My blog has created a veritable media whirlwind to rival that currently being forged by Charlie Sheen. In fact, I've been invited to appear on a number of  talk shows: Dick Cavett, Mike Douglas, David Frost and Phil Donahue, to name a few.  I'm also in negotiations with the George Burns and Gracie Allen show.

How would you characterize your reader, I mean, your readers?

• My readers are simply the best!  I feel like we know each other, not only as friends chatting over a cup of coffee together, but on a more visceral level.  Together we laugh, we cry and we snort milk out our noses.  It's like having a support group -without the Sanka, powdered milk and cheap name tags they serve up at AA.
  

Do you have any plans to expand or enhance your blog?

• I rely on feedback from my readers and am always soliciting new ideas (though I nixed the suggestion from a reader in Vatican City who suggested I post photos of myself in a French maid's costume).  Some of the ideas I am considering include Reader of the Week (contestants to be chosen from those who click the "Donate Now" button), Sarah Says! where we dissect Palinisms for hidden kernels of lucidness and Sudoku for Idiots, which uses only two numbers:  II and IV.

What about your competition?

• You mean websites like Google and Facebook?  I don't really consider them to be my competitors.  Sure, one out of 12 people on the planet has a Facebook account, but Body of Work has Fahrvergnugen. 

Say what?

• Goodnight, Gracie!