Friday, May 13, 2011

The cupboard is bare

I started to giggle as soon as I steered my cart into the fruit and vegetable aisle.  My giggle morphed into a chuckle as I passed the Vidalia onions and by the time I had reached the organic tofu, I was laughing maniacally.  But it was not until I was standing in front of the dried plums (aka prunes), feeling lost and frantically pulling scraps of tissues and rusted pennies out of my purse that I knew without a doubt that, once again, I was rudderless.  I could not find my shopping list.

It never fails that I lose my shopping list as soon as I set foot into a grocery store. I'm pretty useless under the best of circumstances, but when forced to choose among 1,700 kinds of pasta without a list I just stand around with a glazed look on my face, hoping to be guided by trails of Italian breadcrumbs on the floor.

I don't mean to imply that a list is the solution to all of my problems - there's also the not so little problem of my handwriting - which is patently illegible.  On the rare occasions when my list has managed to follow me into the store, (usually clinging to the toilet paper I am trailing on the sole of my shoe) it is not unusual for me to stand for several minutes by the tilapia and stare stupidly at the following:

Pint of gopher milk
Landmine toadies
Chuckle babies
Apple doozy - no flibber!!!

A guy named Bill Keaggy maintains a blog called Grocery  It claims to be the world's largest online collection of grocery lists (is there more than one)?  He started it when he found an abandoned list in the bottom of the cart, found it fun to read and started a collection.

I don't know if any of my errant lists have made it onto  But I'll be looking.  I still need to buy the ingredients for a great recipe I found in a magazine, including flounder eurteabia and turtle grog.


  1. I'm around to read your post! I'm gonna pop on over to that site, too. Should be fun. :) Have a great Shabbos!

  2. Oh that's so funny. I do that too! I forget my list almost every time and can't read it the rest of the time. Most of my lists are written in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, so it's not unusual to find moose plugs and porch biscuits on my list. (no idea...)

  3. Too funny Joan. Even if i remember my list, I'll be driving in the car and remember something I need. By the time I arrive at the store, I've forgotten it before I can write down, so I then end walking up down the aisles hoping I'll remember the item. Of course, I don't remember what I need to til the moment I step inside my door.

  4. I don't do grocery lists often - unless I'm shopping for a specific recipe. I tend to go for the fly by the seat of my pants approach to shopping and cooking.
    Louise Edington
    Fearless For Freedom

  5. I had to really laugh reading this. I used to get so embarrassed at not being able to read what I had scribbled down on my list. But then when I discovered that this is something that afflicts many of us, I came to accept it. I often do what Louise does and just wing it, but that results in buying much more than I'd originally planned to. Maybe I'll have a look at that website.

    Fiona Stolze
    Inspired Art and Living

  6. A giggle burst out of me as I read the line about the grocery list probably stuck to the toilet paper on your shoe! Too funny & we've all been there!

    I try and stick to a list (when it actually leaves the house with me) -- finds it saves money.

    if you ever find your exotic ingredients for your scary sounding recipe, you must post!! :)

    Heidi & Atticus
    "commentary to give you paws..."

  7. Very funny and true! I'm at that point that I need a list to go into the garage! What did I come in here for?

    Too often I get to the store wander the aisles hoping for a spark of memory and only realize what I went for when I get home .

    Laine D.

  8. Hi Joan,
    that's too funny! I don't really use a shopping list but I do have a list for the things that I might run out pretty soon, like toilet paper, laundry detergent and all that.. I NEVER ever have this list with me when I go into the store, so I can totally relate!
    Loved this,

    Franziska San Pedro
    The Abstract Impressionist Artress