FAQs

Since I started this blog, I’ve been inundated with questions about its origins and goals and the inspirations for my writings. I thought I would put the answers to these questions together in an easy-to-read column. So here are the answers to your most Frequently Asked Questions.


Have you really been inundated with questions about this blog?

• Uh….no. But my mother frequently asks me questions about how to get rid of the blinking numbers on the front of her VCR and demands to know when I am going to start wearing a “little lipstick.”

When are you going to start wearing a little lipstick?

• None of your business.

What do you hope to achieve through your blog?

• My goal is to hone my writing skills and gain some discipline over my time, in case I ever decide to start a ….blog.

In the blog, you use what appear to be code words or inside jokes. Can you share their meaning?

• Sure.

          DH = dear husband, MY dear husband who didn't ask for....and doesn't deserve...any of this.

          Things 1 and 2 = are my two children of unspecified age and gender. I call them thusly to protect their identities - in case they ever decide to run for political office, no one need ever know that their mother blogged while rocking in a chair like Norman Bates’ mother.

          The Devil’s Playground = Walmart and Sam’ Club, which are very dangerous places in which to dawdle if you have some money in your pocket.

          Martha = Martha Stewart. But I only whisper her name.


Does your blog have a mission statement?

• Don’t even go there.

Any objectives or goals?

• I want to be a blogonnaire.  The reports that Adsense sends to me indicate that I earned 4 cents in my first week, so I'm excited to be on my way. 

How truthful are your postings?

• Every.  Word.  Is.  True.  Especially the dirty ones.

Are any topics off-limits?

• I will never make fun of people who are less fortunate than I am, unless they are more attractive or successful than me or have nicer clothing.

Does your husband know you blog?

• He does not. And if you tell him, I will have to kill you.

What do you do when you are not blogging?

• I study psychopathology, sip and reheat the same cup of coffee until noon, vacuum up cat hair and answer my fan mail.

You get fan mail?

• No. So it’s not very time consuming.

How frequently do your readers ask you these questions?

• How do you define “frequent?”

If you have any more burning questions for me, please post them under "Comments" or email me and I'll be sure to answer them in an upcoming post.