The Chanukah Secret

For the past three days, I've been walking around with the charge receipt from a certain chainstore in my (cool, non-Mom) jeans pocket.  It's the receipt for the Chanukah gift I purchased for Thing 2.

I have to leave it in my pocket because if I remove it he will find it and know what I got him for Chanukah.  I know, because it happened two years ago (when he couldn't even read as well as he can now).  At the time, I placed the receipt in the pile where we keep all our credit card receipts, reasoning that there was no way in hell he would ever find it.  Why I wouldn't have this problem if I were cooler and just used a debit card.

So of course, one afternoon, his super-sensitive, gift-seeking radar zoomed in on this VERY PILE of papers among all the piles of papers in the house.  He rifled through, interpreted all the numbers and codes like some midget accountant and discovered what he was getting as a gift.  That kind of ruined the surprise of the monogrammed underwear I had gotten for him.

I wish Chanukah would get here already.  I want to change my pants.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to get to this blog, but given how sneaky he is, I can't take the chance of revealing what the gift is here.

So if ANY ONE of you tells him about this blog, you're not getting a ride on the pony.

An Afternoon at the Mall - A Photo Journey!

Since it's the end of the week and, according to my extensive market research studies, no one reads my blog on Friday, I thought I'd take this opportunity to show off a few random photos I took at the mall last week. 

It was the last day of his school's week-long "Halloween Break" (don't ask) and Thing 2 had finally tired of torturing me with his top ten list of my failings.  Among my favorites were 1) you're not a "fun Mom" because 2)  I "never take him anyplace" and 3) I (meaning me) can't "think of anything fun for him to do." Thing 2 asked me to take him to the mall and I quickly agreed, fantasizing that I might be able to lose him in the crowd.

I also agreed because it was high time for my annual "last trip to the mall before the holidays start" (this was November 5).  It may sound counterintuitive to swear off the mall as December approacheth, but as a Yiddishe mama, there's no reason for me to set foot in the mall during the season of merry and bright.  (As for Chanukah, I throw the kids a few latkes, mumble some phlegmy words under my breath and call it a holiday).

So here's a pair of jeans I saw at Aeropostale. They were on sale for $50, down from $60.  I wonder how much they would cost if they weren't ripped?

Source:  Joan Oliver Emmer for Planet Emmer Productions

The mall staff was just starting to put up the Christmas decorations - this being the first week of November and all.  The red bows look small, but they're actually huge -- I took this from the second level.



Source:  Diane Arbus for Planet Emmer Productions


Similarly, while these may look like festive Lifesavers, they're really humongous Christmas wreaths.

Source:  Ansel Adams for Planet Emmer Productions

This is Thing 2, looking cool as he examines skateboarding tee-shirts at the skateboarding store.

Source:  Annie Leibovitz for Planet Emmer Productions

And here's me.  It's not the BEST picture of me, but it's darn close!  And I took it myself!

Source:  Joan Oliver Emmer for Planet Emmer Production

For a bit of perspective, here's me when I get really dolled up: