Monday, February 28, 2011

Evidence that I am a sloth and need to get out more

  • There are popcorn kernels in every crevice in my home, including my decolletage.
  • We hardly ever eat Jello, but all that's left in the cupboard are five boxes of it - strawberry, lemon and lime. The strawberry might go well with the daiquiri mix under the counter. 
  • When I emerge from the house to drive Thing 2 to Hebrew school wearing my vampire-repelling garlic necklace, all I can think of is adding sour cream dip and potato chips to the mix.
  • My most often-used excuse for why dinner is not yet on the table is that I don't want to disturb the cat sleeping soundly on my lap.
  • For weeks I couldn't get to the side of the house to put the garbage in the garbage cans because of the piles of snow.  Now that the snow has melted, I no longer have that excuse -but realize that I liked it.
  •  I've just started to watch the latest in the Real Housewives franchise - Miami.  That's seven cities worth of plunging necklines, plastic surgery  and women who claim to put their families first, but who, between their lunch dates, fashion shows and lingerie parties, never seem to spend any time with them.  (Yes I am jealous).
  • I've forgotten my ATM password - and that is perfectly okay with me.
  • My muscles have atrophied to the point where - scratch that, those were ganglion cysts.


  1. You made a smile grow on my face.

  2. My kitchen is my gauge of slothiness. Today there are not two or three but four newspapers on the island (we receive 2 papers a week), mixed in with old mail, car keys, old tissues, a nail clipper and what-not. There are at least 2.5 loads of dirty dishes piled in the sink. 1/2 of the counters are arguably clean, but the other half . . . you get the picture. I'm going to go nap now.

  3. I could swear you were writing about me. That even looks like me. Oy

  4. I gotta tell you... I think sloths have a bad rep. I was in Costa Rica a couple of years ago and they are very peaceful, happy, stress free creatures. All mothers should be so wonderful!