- There are popcorn kernels in every crevice in my home, including my decolletage.
- We hardly ever eat Jello, but all that's left in the cupboard are five boxes of it - strawberry, lemon and lime. The strawberry might go well with the daiquiri mix under the counter.
- When I emerge from the house to drive Thing 2 to Hebrew school wearing my vampire-repelling garlic necklace, all I can think of is adding sour cream dip and potato chips to the mix.
- My most often-used excuse for why dinner is not yet on the table is that I don't want to disturb the cat sleeping soundly on my lap.
- For weeks I couldn't get to the side of the house to put the garbage in the garbage cans because of the piles of snow. Now that the snow has melted, I no longer have that excuse -but realize that I liked it.
- I've just started to watch the latest in the Real Housewives franchise - Miami. That's seven cities worth of plunging necklines, plastic surgery and women who claim to put their families first, but who, between their lunch dates, fashion shows and lingerie parties, never seem to spend any time with them. (Yes I am jealous).
- I've forgotten my ATM password - and that is perfectly okay with me.
- My muscles have atrophied to the point where - scratch that, those were ganglion cysts.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Posted by Joan Oliver Emmer at 12:05 AM