Final Thoughts on Our Family Trip to Las Vegas

• You can't buy luck.  You can, however, buy lots of Elvis-themed keychains, too-short shorts, plastic models of the Eiffel Tower, and sky high-skinny glasses filled with bubble-gum pink concoctions of who knows what.

• A child IS capable of learning to appreciate the beauty of nature and the blessings that come from accumulating "experiences" rather than "things."  That child, however, does not reside in my house.
• Do not take anything that your teenager says to you seriously or personally.  He is, and will continue to be, out of his mind for several more years.  This has been scientifically documented but conveniently omitted from the Lamaze curriculum.
• I highly recommend the following travel guide: The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Vacation by Stan and Jan Berenstain.  Read it in advance. http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl/9780394830148.html
• Our family can no longer function without an in-room Internet connection.  We tried to use the free in-lobby connection, but waiting in line for the Ethernet connection was torture.  I finally sprang for the $10 a day in-room access.  It is worth it...and I would rather skip a meal than do without.  Okay, maybe not skip a meal...but I might consider selling the kids to one of the Gypsy caravans that frequently pass through town.
• Watching Mrs. Doubtfire, The Proposal and Old Dogs while speeding through the Nevada/Arizona desert on the way to and from the Grand Canyon is not an abomination, it's survival.  The desert starts to look pretty much the same after a while.
• A hummingbird will flit around for hours while you sit quietly without your camera.  As soon as you have your camera in hand, it will disappear.
• If you haven't experienced ABJECT disappointment in a while (and for some reason you feel the void), try this:  settle down for a picnic spread in a shady area of beautiful Red Rock Canyon, surrounded by iron-infused sandstone millions of years old, caressed by cool breezes and serenaded by birdsong.  Dare to say, "Aren't we lucky to be able to picnic together in such a beautiful place?"  The silence is deafening.
• What did we buy in Vegas?  An interesting assortment that reflects the differences among us.  Thing 1:  Souvenir shot glasses. Thing 2:  Keychains and a toy slot machine/bank.  DH:  Underwear.  Me?  http://www.amazon.com/Over-Edge-Death-Grand-Canyon/dp/097009731X

Sunday Morning -- Late Summer

Bagel stuck in slicer


I reach in

And slice my finger open

"It's nothing. I'll just sit here and bleed. Have some more cream cheese."

A mother's love is never-ending.

I am Miss Universe

The least tall Miss Universe contestant in last night's pageant stood 5' 6" with many of the other contestants in the 5' 9" - 6' range. I am glad to finally have an answer as to why this title has always eluded me.

Rice krispy treats

are the devil's spawn.

Stupid...

1)  hamster    2)  pink Dell computer   3)  deer.

The Grand Canyon

Tomorrow we are going to visit one of the crown jewels of this country, the majestic Grand Canyon. In a related note, both the MGM Grand and Circus Circus are taking bets on which one of my boys first gazes into the abyss and asks, "Where's the video arcade?"

Sin City

Whoa!  Sin City.  And I'm doing my part by wearing a strapless bra.

Is there a technical term for someone with a fear of traveling from one time zone to another?  Other than idiot?

Packing for Vacation

We've reached a point in our family development where I don't have to pack for the kids for vacation anymore. I just tell them to pack for themselves and then yell at them until they actually do it.